..

2011-04-08T21:36:00.001+08:00

i guess a secret blog is good. the people ard you care for you for the sake of the title of 'friends'. so bye!

2011-02-16T01:44:00.003+08:00

i have decided to move. i might come back here once awhile. but my secrets will be capped with me.

and

if you have the tendency to lie, you will keep lying because it is addictive. you will nv stop hurting people around you. im tired now.

2011-02-02T00:47:00.003+08:00

we always have to be honest with ourselves.

we truly know the reason but we are not facing it.

the gap is trying hard to close.

it's not the needle-and-thread's job. we are far beyond what we thought we ought to be.

2011-01-22T01:52:00.002+08:00

i know you read it..

I will try to believe that you will.

I hope you will.

and i will make my wish for you.

I try not to flood a river again though i know i would anytime sooner.

i will nv stop worrying for you, until you have found the right one and you can happily brag about your happiness w/o lying anymore.

and happy birthday(:

Repeated mistakes

2011-01-06T00:11:00.001+08:00

Again, you allow someone to come in between us.

overall, im just a friend, and that's all.

we fall back into the same patterns, same routine.

2010-12-30T23:20:00.004+08:00

somehow i was quite hesitant to blog today.

all you think about me is like this.

i cant do much. No matter how much i say, (maybe you think i deserve it), you couldnt give me slightest understanding and appreciation.

Are you getting back at me? who is not disappointed?

I've kindly informed you my decision about weekends. Do you show appreciation or sarcasm?

Work like a dog, a pile of setbacks, yes..serve me right. What makes you think you are no different from me in terms of what you said.

I'm not being loved, cared and appreciated. AWESOME.

Disappointed? So am i.

/edited

i really need you, but you could only see yourself.
Struggling very hard with myself, is there someone i can really fall back on right now?

2010-12-23T10:17:00.003+08:00

Im not a life bouy.

Im not a superhuman.

I dont wish to know, hear and learn anything from you about this matter.
When you hurt yourself, you hurt me.
and you have no idea.

Maybe im indebted to you.

Thanks, not.

Once again

2010-12-15T22:17:00.002+08:00

Once again, i'm correct about you.

i wouldnt have mind if my sleep were sacrificed. If you never learn to love yourself, i will start treasuring every time of mine.

If you ever asked, i care as much as the person.

My words don't weigh a gram. My worries are redundant.

I will silently watch you from the back, i will be someone who you can fall back on when you are finally awaken.

Maybe after a thousand slashes in your heart..

In conclusion, I'm still not someone yet.

2010-12-11T22:34:00.003+08:00

you always do this. is it selfish or selfless?

All these seems to be my own problem, the trouble i created for myself.
The way you define your 'comfort' is not the way i define it. i'm always alone

am i regretting my life?

work scope over time

2010-12-06T22:04:00.004+08:00

Wednesday -> meet supplier, take samples, compile 4 lab reports

Thursday -> calculate equations, edit Major Project (MP) log book, submit parts of proposal for compilation, edit formulation, emails

Friday -> Submit proposal, study for test, do MP related stuff, emails

Saturday -> Plan MP related stuff, calculations, emails

Sunday -> Re-design poster for MP

Monday -> Consultation, call MP related companies, emails

This is fucking hell tired. I cant believe that my karma comes back. Im now leader for MP and core subject.
Every hour is so precious, every bar of my laptop battery is crucial. When everyone sinks deeply in their comfy bed, I'm still awake, dealing with monster who never stop twisting my words. Maybe it should learn from life experience: not everyone is a bully but a bully cant bully everyone.
Oops, i'm always careful and i have a back up for everything, especially to problematic, obnoxious and obstinate aliens. I will never fight for 50% win battle. It's either a 100% win or never try to fight.
well, aliens always enrich my life but also make me exhausted.

I enjoy the busy life to a certain extent. When i finally crawl back to my bed, i will play my favourite song of the week, indulge in the melody and vocal, relax my muscles. Certain songs bring back some flashes of memories in europe, esp. in zermatt, switzerland when i walked back to the hotel alone in the night, surrounded by mountains and greenlands. Cold breeze embraced me in an awkward manner. Rush of the river flows created more air circulations. No one wandered on the streets after 9, 5 degree celcius in the early autumn brought more loneliness in life. Silvery moon in the dark sky lit up the streets. And there was someone i missed in Singapore.

okay! goodnight :D I need some music therapy

Life can be extended

2010-11-26T00:10:00.002+08:00

I have seen alot of sore losers in life. Those who always hoping that they are at the winning side.

true enough that everyone wants to win, but sometimes, when you lose, you make other happier. i mean not really lose at the losing end..that will be dumb.

anyway, of course, i will do justice right (:

be less paranoid, you will be happier :D so, STOP IT.

Let go & move on

2010-11-20T22:30:00.003+08:00

This morning 10.45, I was struggling with the needle. Given ethanol rub on my hand, one 10cm long needle was plunged deeply in my vessel. I fell asleep. I had no idea what had happened, I had no idea how i made my way to another room and well dressed.

My will was strong, a fainting voice was calling my name. I cried.

In conclusion, although long ago i knew this, i have to re-emphasize.

had a fall - stand up - look back - laugh - move on

goodnight people..Life is always so wonderful. Let go and move on.

No time for second thought

2010-11-18T20:49:00.004+08:00

i think it's either i make a change or i stop blogging.

When you learn life in a hard way, you will never forget.. not even for this moment. Enjoy when you are young.. you will never like it if you have to settle your problem like an adult. Since when i thought, I'm now someone who has stopped telling people my problems and love the way i bottle up in me. Sometimes i randomly vent my anger out telling my friends how sucks life is. When i rant my heart out, i feel that i should not burden my friends with my trouble because not all are listeners. ample times i feel like crying when the stress overburdens me, i remind myself that I'm always a role model in my family. Of course, crying is not a solution to everything. I used to blog a lot when i was unhappy or upset over something. now i did it again. but once in awhile.

This moment can be very harsh, pressing me flat. However, my belief has never changed. I am a strong girl and i always will be one. Being independent was not my nature and i was forced to it. I never like the feeling of being on my own but I have to understand that life is unexpected and unpredictable. Age gap is a major reason why my siblings can't get along. From then on, when I knew the hard fact, I accepted my fate and live with it. I always treat a painful lesson as a lifetime lesson. Look back, learn from it, laugh and move on.

I'm sorry to be this fragile but just once in a blue moon. When my mum thought i was borned with strong character, she had forgotten that she was the one who trained me from young. The worst experience: i was in this prestigious primary school and everyday was threatening. During midnight, i was awaken by nightmares. I ran outside my mum's door, she set a ground rule - you are the eldest sister, you are not allowed to be in this room. I begged. I was locked outside in the dark, silence was breaking in the living room. I wiped my tears off and decided to overcome this fear myself. It was then, I'm always on my own to solve my own problems.

adaption-habit-lifestyle-character..this is what builds me up.

okay, I'm feeling stressful again. I need to go toilet..

2010-11-06T23:29:00.001+08:00

i was thinking about my friends.

Mary, Huipeng, Pris.

i want a shopping spree! save up all and we shall shop(:

Compromise

2010-10-30T19:50:00.003+08:00

If this is how you going to repay me..I can tell you that I won't have time for you. I'm leader for my major project and my core subject you have no idea how's life w these. I could barely slp early and have to wake up at 5 the very next morning. Yet you don't even treasure the opportunity to pour your words out. Think about it.. If this is what you want now, I can grant your wish. Not the first time it's like this. I can't always be the understanding side when you give little afford to pay attention to that. See in my perspective.. Utterly disappointed

2010-10-22T17:04:00.001+08:00

Just one day, try me

When you are labelled

2010-10-17T22:25:00.002+08:00

Maybe after some times, even your closest friends reveal their true feelings abt you. Sometimes over caring gives you nothing in return. Don't overdo. Cos now maybe I might bid goodbye with this friend. For all the things I have done for her, they are worthless. Understandings were not sought by one party but was asking for other party to seek for the understanding. Alr said some things are meant to be said when ready because i alr expect the outcome if you are not. Respecting your decision, i struggled my words and thought you would feel less frustrated. After worrying for half a day, I came to realize that I shld just do my own part. I'm utterly sad and disappointed. I don't want to be the one who always have to understand your situation when you can't give a damn.

2010-08-26T23:28:00.001+08:00

at this point, i feel that our r/s is rocky. seems like the faith has gone.

2010-08-18T22:55:00.006+08:00

hello, i havent been blogging.

i went to sign up for Basic Theory Test this monday. it was a sudden decision by my dad. He was being paranoid, thinking that no one will take care of him when he's old and dying except for me. so he told my mum to sponsor money for me to take up driving.

HAHAHA. it was raining cats and dogs. cool, priscilla lost her phone and i got eye irritation. i cursed the weather for not being kind. we were squeezing our clothes and hair looking all drenched.

after that, we cabbed to my house and changed. meet mary and headed to museum.

next day, i met zw and he brought me to see doctor. saw someone.

today is our last outing with mary before she flies off to US.
''Hello mary,
HAHAHA i know im naggy and i have written so many letters for you. today when i wrote one of the many letters i wrote (the mjr foolscape), i cried a little. images of our happy memory jumble in my mind, i smiled silly, laughing at myself.
when i got bullied, when no one trust me, you entrust me with your faith telling me that as long as i didnt do anything wrong, people will believe in me.
i pour out all my emotions in front of you because you could give me the best comfort.
when you are in US, you must think of me. we must skype and chat often on msn regardless the time.
when i was walking back home, i read the card you made for me. i cried, thinking 'why do i deserve to have such a great friend?' i cant stop tearing and sms pris said that we held our tears and didnt cry in front of you. HAHAHAHA.
hahaha not like you are dying. but imagine i cant see you for 3 mths. and you will be far far away from me. DONT WORRY, i will be going US during march time :D
tell me what you want from france, italy and switzerland. i will buy for you with all the allowance i have!
i treasure you so much so that i feel that you are closer than me and my sis.
i pray hard that i got my driving license by march and i could drive you around in my car even late night i wont mind (:
be happy over there. ask me food science qns dont worry if you dont know :D we can both learn tgt :D let's strive hard k!

your lovely HUIWEN.''

2010-08-09T00:25:00.002+08:00

you can have a great time thinking how you should approach me. you wont be able to find the word 'forgive' unless you are sincere this time. to be honest, i dont really need your help or anything. it's such a shame that i'm a self-reliant person.

the only pity is that your character will bring you nowhere. im counting down to the day to fly off to australia. seriously. just treat this as a very memorable lesson in your life.

2010-07-07T16:30:00.002+08:00

i really hate you sometimes. i can tolerate your attitude. your calculative character and everything. if you mind so much, you should just fly to australia and dont come back. i nv mind if you are with me or not. you are more annoying than annoying orange. at least, when annoying orange annoys to make people laugh their ass out.

im now going to forever 21 to get your top NO MATTER WHAT. this is fuck up. _|_

2010-05-06T21:33:00.003+08:00

you nv ask me why but i always do. you dont know why. i was hoping you could say sth comforting. however that is not your strength. the moment you scream at me, i know i hit your limit. im not your comfort anymore.

always, i have to let go my dignity and call you back and apologize. is this fair?

goodbye/

2010-04-08T16:34:00.006+08:00

Now I’m in the office doing nth apparently because I had accomplished my tasks yesterday. Always, I am very interested with this person because her life revolves around money and brands. So I clicked on her url to check on updates. WHALA! Vague with no depth as usual.

Pardon me for a few minutes.. in this post, nothing is going to look like I’m a kind hearted match stick girl going to stand there stupidly for the good whole winter just to show my sales skills.

Have you ever think that why is it not only me but everyone who leaves you? Pathetically, look around you.
This matter is too obnoxious and ridiculous.
I swear I never mistreat you.
However what turn me off most is how you squander people's money, your heart changes faster than each fashion season and you are not truthful either.

That day all I can say is that it's my wrong for lying and not turning up. but my main reason was I don’t like your boyfriend and it is still the fact. SIMPLE. I quite like your previous boyfriend and couldn’t accept that you had found someone so quickly.
You can say that I stereotype people. but I don’t give a damn to people who are like this even though he was once my primary school classmate.
I don’t see why there is a need to interact with such people.

I can make a vow that I will never smoke and never fail to get any certification from the ministry of education. Simply because I don’t want to fail my parents and importantly myself. I might not be the crème of the crop but at least I work hard to graduate.

Back to the topic.

Most of the things, you assumed. I can tell you honestly, you know nothing of me. I thought of explaining to you. With a second thought, I held back. At that age, you even got your parents involved -.- for goodness sake. Since you didn’t give me a chance to explain so to let the matter rest and be patient with me, I don’t think there was any need to talk to you.

I used to regard you as one of my good friend. Gradually, I couldn’t figure out which part you said is true. Seeing how your previous bf suffered, everyone can tell who’s most at fault. During the time, you did doubt me. so is it my turn now to say that you fail to regard me as someone you trust?

Sometimes, I was thinking if I could start a conversation with you. Wait a minute, no. I have every right to make any moves and to decide which kind of friends I want to keep. There was once A.K asked me this question, “do you miss her a lot from the day you both stop contacting each other?" the answer is rarely. you might think that you treat me the best. However, all my friends can do that and they are very compliant. So it is good because I won’t have that mutinous feeling in me.

Saying that people put on mask to be friends? Well..see who's talking. Look around me, I can’t even count how many true friends I have. I’m still in contact with my primary school friends, secondary school friends. They are always readily there for me. Even on my request, visit me at work. My polymates can share my burden and joy. Well how about you? Where are all your beloved girl friends you had in your secondary school class? None of them will be there for you, I can say that. You clearly know what kind of attitude and character you have. I have heard enough complaints and discussions from those people.
As what AK had mentioned in her blog a year ago, I also dislike the way you live your life. I felt very uneasy to be with you.

You can say that I gave you the biggest unforgettable memory on your important day. So?
Since I am not your concern anymore, why spend so much time thinking about the past where i was pictured inside?
And mind you, I didn’t backstab you. Don’t use the word “backstab” often unless you know the meaning to it. Don’t fully utilize it as if it’s profit making. Unfortunately, I doubt you know. I think you wanted to say that I lie to you and I left you without a word.
I didn’t go around and spread your business. Some people know it because someone you know told them or even you told them yourself.
Some friends are meant to be, some are not. When time is up, be ready to let go.
Let’s put this to a stop because I’m reluctant to give myself or to be given any chance to participate in your life. do i look like i even care to be a calefare..

P/S: I’m speaking the truth, it’s up to you to accept this with your generosity. Seriously, I’m not angry because I admit my wrong for lying but not agreeing to your absurd assumption. You cant be always right. Even saints make mistakes.

when the day i read your blog, you called this fate.

2010-03-18T01:55:00.004+08:00

everytime this year, i might be overseas and tend to forget some stuff.

i used to have this friend. who i always treat the person like my sibling. let me call the person E.

E was always there to hearken whenever i needed someone to hear me out and E will be always someone who is my first priority in my calling list. hearken, i really mean it.

E called it our fate the day i read E's blog.
i never thought in those ways. i knew that it was my frequent sudden requests for help makes E think in this way. and it's true i dont have very good flash drive in my brain. i dont recall things that i have said for once and especially to anger. i will forget it very soon. when i graduated from secondary school, my brain become dull. too many things on hand. when you have to remember your work schedule and timing till you lost track of time. you have to make a balance in everything.

i could hardly contact anyone unless you were talking about working buddies.

this is when..i started to distant from some friends. i know that i could never use that ruler of mine to measure someone's sensitivity and character.

there's many things that need time to realise. and now i know and also hope that E knows.

today it's E's birthday and all i have to say is that at times, i will still miss you. i took some time to think..would it be appropriate to send you a birthday msg..till i finally decided i should and know that it is alr 18 march in the wee hours. maybe i have really lose E as my friend. however, i would still like to thank E for helping me out, sorting my problems and doting me in the past.

2010-02-19T00:06:00.000+08:00

Everytime i blog, it's always not a good thing.
yes, this time round too.
luckily i have a blog that not many poly friends know. which im quite glad.

let's say this. i admit the fact that i cant go well with girls but not all. and i prefer having male friends because they are more steady in terms of handling situation and dont bitch as much as girls do.
commenting something about me yet you know nuts about me.. cool
No. of people who don't like me is lesser or equal to No. of people who like me. nothing to be sad about. because maybe even before the person doesn't like me, i choose not to be nice. i like to choose my friends selectively.

i'm a frank person, i don't beat around the bush to tell you that you suck. i will say it straight in your face unless you are someone who i care. i hate my friends commenting something about me behind my back but not telling me straight to the face because i'm willing to accept facts about me that may not please me.
i will show you my attitude when i'm unhappy about certain stuff, if i tell you, yet you insist in your way and don't change, i will ignore you for life. i always mean it. what i mean by friends are the ones who are always with me. not be by me. hypocrites? double standards? No. find someone else who can fake with you.
i don't like it.
who are my best friends? people who are with me when the world is against me. those are my best friends. i will swear with my heart to treat the person good forever - Mary. HAHAHAHA eh i treat you good k! we went for a romantic date on the actual valentine day :D

so in return, even the world is against my friends who treat me well, i will go against the world even just for that one friend.
which is true.

what so lucky about me is that i have found a mirror of me, which is michelle.
who in poly knows me better than her?

what most regretted is that, i should not bring in sympathy, i should have written what is so true about you that everyone in the grp hates you to the max. leniency should come only if you repent. so forget it dog. anyway your peer evaluations for all subjects are so damn cool. lowest in the group. i cant wait to see those disappointment in those teachers.

and that stupid bitch from my former class, you can tell the whole wide-world about my family background, my secondary school background. but what do you gain? you can say things that are not real so?
im not ashame of what kind of family i come from.. i can say it's a well-to-do family. being secretive about my family background because i want a low profile life. get it? bitch.. you know nth and you even betray the trust i gave you. even at this stage, you couldn't respect yourself as a human. so lie low and be a dog.

to c: you can go ahead and tell others your tall stories. some bitches will buy that but majority wont. go with the bunch of freeloaders who you thought are your new good friends :D we don't need you

2010-02-15T19:01:00.002+08:00

hello peeps, it's CNY and what is in the past, im ready to let go. so cool. opening up my arms to welcome exams :/

and and tmr maybe going out with pris and MARY

to priscilla's request

2010-02-05T21:44:00.004+08:00

PART II

im angry. and you know im short tempered and have very low tolerance when i know it is wrong yet no one is doing anything to salvage the problem.

i was from a UG and although it is a fucked up CCA, my passion never died till the very end when i graduated. after i graduated, my interests in planning and pioneering grew. i decided to join mjr scout ventures. i planned for camps and activities (carwashing and jobweek and that stupid leader didnt go according to my schedule on that actual day) and i tried my first time pioneering my own campsite when i just learnt pioneering that very day. i dont mind being bullied and asked to do all the shitty jobs because i seriously like camps and i like the team spirit built during all the trainings.
i like to design and draw out my inspirations. it might be simple. but i swear upon crossing my heart, it will turn out to be impressive. i drew throughout my own UG life and people will always look for me when it comes to drawing (because they simply dont use their brain to express their own creative which i believe everyone have it when borned just that they dont use it wisely from start).
no matter how much my boyfriend disagree with me being in this scout ventures, i was still that committed until one day we were on the verge of breaking up.
until the last camp, i had seen the true colours of my leaders. i hate them for being hypocrites. after showing so much initiative and effort, i was not appreciated because they felt that im not in the right position to talk to them (they denied this truth when i told them that they are like this, whatever). they crossed their hearts saying that they wont tell others about my honest feedback but i think they are borned with crooked mouths. they leaked it like nobody business. okay means like a backstab. walls have ears and it travels to my ears. (seriously, if you were to know me well, if i know something is not right and you dont mind me being straightforward, i will just say it in your face but not to everyone because i want to save some face for you.)
my own leader didnt want to admit the explicit that there is politic going on in our group and it made me hate this venture more.
maybe because i like things to be perfect like how i treat my work (such as drawing, planning and so on).
leaders are always contradicting. they were never united and always giving us feedback telling us that we are not united. unity is what they should do to show us.
some people think highly of themselves and never bother to listen.

in such a group, there will never be improvement.

maybe some of the scouts will read this (i will never say MY scouts since i never take them since their first year).
but i dont give a damn. this is the truth and i really cant take it.

not attending the campfire meetings because of my hectic life. some of the scouts might be complaining that we did nth. but you have no idea how poly life can kill especially courses with labs and experiments.
i have clearly told eddie that i would not be attending any of the meetings but will show my work.
i took my effort and time off to find a suitable picture. (up till now i cant believe that we got a stupid name for our campfire theme - freak park? why not thriller?)
i drew a freaking roller coaster that needed alot of details. although it is a draft not to be confirmed.
today i was informed that it will be the design for sign in board instead of the backdrop. why cant this be informed earlier so that i can think of what to draw?
i really think it is fuck up because i was thinking if the drawing suits to be backdrop, would it be too bombastic that no one could see from far?
i volunteered myself to help, and im not informed of anything, not even minutes thru my mail.
it really disappoints me. this whole thing makes me feel like im taken for granted.
for the start of my 2nd semester of my 2nd year, i do my projects almost until every dawn for good 2 months and yet have to think of the design. (i've promised eddie that i will try my best)

TODAY, i have made my decision:

Scouts and Ventures will never be in my priority list. i wont show my commitment anymore. you can start praying or get wonderful assistant scout venture leader to help.

on that campfire day, the scouts can start to get panic and go get all my seniors and juniors back to help. whatever, i dont give a damn, you die on your own. i could have helped if things were to be said earlier and nicely.

overall, i truely regretted joining a lousy CCA. should have joined tp inline skating and i wont have to quarrel with my best friend (priscilla) and my boyfriend so many times over this CCA.

Priscilla's request

2010-01-22T21:00:00.003+08:00

Part I
im really having tough time. i really have it enough. i thought C was a responsible person.
it was only this semester i get to see her true colours.
i tried so hard to put up with her. not only me. but everyone.
i can really join drama club - my life is so dramatic.

2010-01-21T19:27:00.002+08:00

HAHAHA. It's Priscilla's birthday today :D and i sent her a super long and touching sms. I told her that she would cry after reading my sms. i think she wasn't convince enough LOL!
see I'm so right (: WAHAHAHAHAHA.

okay i will dedicate this post to you again. dont be surprise and shock :D im only doing it for you okay! out of my busy busy super very busy schedule.

Pris you know that i wanted to tell you more in the message but then the sms system only allows 15 messages MAX D:

HAHAHAAAAAA this is so shy. alright here comes again.
today when i was thinking of what food to give you (since i was meeting you to give you birthday hug), i saw this Scott's vitamin C pastilles and remember that your maid rarely buys fruits and the variety is so limited, only apple and orange. and you know I'm major in food science and nutrient, i think it's good if i were to get you this because you are also not having nutrient dense food. HAHA! i was so happy to see you today although i was so freaked out by your red lips. you are 19, my dear!
it seems like you were 13 last year, big size, nerd and blur. HAHAHAHA :D
cool enough we are still the bestest friends on our 7th anniversary!
NO no..im not going to make you cry here. cos im so shy to let others know what i want to tell you. but i dont mind if you post it in your blog.

i mean it seriously..if you are happy, im happy for you (:
we must go shopping soon! cant wait for you to blog about ME in your blog! (hahaha! you know i like it when i'm featured there :D)

in this picture

2010-01-16T00:56:00.003+08:00

i couldnt see why you are trying so hard to make me change that impression of yours.

alright.. today what what you have done, i had it enough. you are so gr8! trying to impress me. you might be the most hardworking one, it doesnt make you the smart one. you can have an encyclopedia in your brain yet my Pentium 1 works way faster than you.

when i was doing my part, you were snatching it from my bare hands when it's nearly half done. you are not the creme of the crop and i wont do anything on your command. dont treat everyone like your dog.

dont ask me for answers because you thought i did well. you always think highly of yourself, isnt it true?

i wish that all these end and i dont want to get involve with any thing that got to do with you. and dont tell me 'whatever' when you are wrong. this tells me alot about you - being obnoxious.

change of topic..
i was telling pris that i have a phobia.
but according to her..it seems more like fear.
this fear is too harsh that i often cant accept it.
everytime if someone were to do something like this to me, it reminds me of that day, i was talking to pris on the phone when i was at bugis. and i have no idea why that scene always flashes in my mind. like nightmare.

i need to find ways to get rid of this. too dominating.

your call

2010-01-01T03:17:00.005+08:00

i have totally lost my mood in blogging. because everything now is about PROJECTS.
Everyday, i have been complaining about this person, that person and whoever for not doing their allocated tasks.

good that my boyfriend is able to tolerate my rantings and always buys me ice cream to make me happy.

oh..have i mention Wendy's? it's one of the top fast food restaurants in America and now it's in SIN :D if im not wrong..it was here since 14 DEC. it is located at Lau Pat Sa. the meals are damn worth your money :D didnt really take photos of what we had ordered but i have a photo with Wendy's M&M frosties! :D i cant wait for the next time to try out their cheese and cheese baked potato!

and now it's freaking 3.32 am.. im going to call that BABE. cya(:

p/s: later im going to blog on my December spree :D it's FAB! another trial on makeup..
and my wonderful X'mas present (:

SO SINFUL

2009-12-28T00:42:00.003+08:00

AHHH.. you know about being a buddhist? seriously speaking, to say im a buddhist is not totally right because im merely following my dad. and the thing about being a buddhist is WE CANT HAVE BEEF! everytime i see zhengwei eating some beef food, especially beef noodle, i have that very bad temptation whenever he offers me and doesnt remember that i cant take beef.
D:
okay the only sinful thing is that i drank beef soup and it is SO-SO only. cos michelle told me that as long as you see no beef, the soup can be consumed.

and the rest of the time, not knowingly, consumed beef burger. which is the turkey bacon burger at BK. WALAU EH. i have been eating that for past 5 years until my sis told me that she actually asked the server because the icon indicating the kind of meat wasnt available.
stupid shit. LOL! but it taste really damn good i swear :D

conclusion: whether to eat beef or not..i have to think about it again. since cows have alot of contributions in the food industry like providing milk to make some tasty dairy products.

2009-12-27T00:10:00.001+08:00

hi! :D

goodbye!

2009-12-25T03:40:00.003+08:00

how upset..
till this point. we are still not improving. problem lies.
i hate to admit it.
you know that, now everything just tells me that...

2009-12-23T21:44:00.002+08:00

i thought i would be able to catch back the old times; the air im familiar with, the breeze that makes me feel so "christmas", the song i was listening to 2 years back, the hand i was holding to.
we are so not fated.
and i've decided not to celebrate christmas this year.

barbie inspired.

2009-12-09T00:30:00.012+08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4-GRH2nDvw

i was looking at this video, on someone doing a barbie inspired makeup. i wanted to do it last week. but it was way too hectic. actually this week is hectic too because of the exams D: however there's no paper today and i wanted to try it for FUN.

okay see this plain look W/O anything VS barbie inspired medium thick makeup.
overall, i think i did the correct way just that im still an asian. angmoh got their special features that outstand their faces. anyway, hui peng, pris, jiaqi and mary! sms me to let me know if this barbie inspired look really work out(: i will do it on you :D if jeehou you want to say sth about this, sms me :D

barbie has a flawless skin tone and her eyes are humongous and lashes are really thick black. her lips are really pinkish. because im a chinese, skin tone nearer to fair, i shall make pink my base color.

so firstly, use the diorskin sculpt line-smoothing foundation. HAHA. the only branded foundation i have because it's my mum who bought it for me.

secondly, apply the CANMAKE Glitter Eyes to give you that barbie inspired eye shade.. i had bought pink one 2 weeks ago and thought it would be useful for the barbie inspired look.

finishes with Maybelline XXL mascara which is really damn good. because it gives 60% length and 4X volume to your lashes. thick and long lashes guaranteed :D

lastly, this is for hui peng. hey BOMB, no need to squeeze your brain juice on what kind of present to get me. just get me this for x'mas (: thanks man! and i make sure i do a review on this

Monday blues _|_

2009-12-01T01:12:00.004+08:00

in the past, every monday was our family day.
now, every monday is my mum and dad's dating day.

my sisters are now having holiday and all they can do is to eat, sleep, surf the net or play soccer(only applies to my second sis).

today is a fuck up day. Not in good mood once i entered the class. and i hope i just burn the chelsea jersey of mine. having a "great time" doing my test, copying answers and facing some noobie asses every day in day out.
out of 5 subjects, not even one i like. lecturers suck a big time and keep bugging me about the lab quiz and attendance. for the goodness sake, i was late once for lab and failed one lab quiz. nothing to be surprised about. and im not the only one. just keep those unnecessary words to yourself and stop calling me and stop all those mailing to my house. noobshit. i dont even care if you are going to call my parents and harass them.

and A* that big ass. rude and fat. pissing me off every time she bang me on purpose. $@#^&
dont she know she weighs a ton and she was really breaking my arm? and she didnt even apologize. beware..im too much for her to handle _|_

irresponsible starhub service staff didnt even get back to me regarding my student plan. and my phone bill is like a long scroll .

i cant have my 8 hours of sleep every single day and i was finding time slot to catch a wink. and today is fuck-up. because my wink turned up to be 3 hours long. wasting every minute and now i have to sit in front of this fujitsu laptop and type all these shit, my lab report and my assignment.

you know this.. when you dont see my face, hear my voice, you dont know my tone. i wasnt meant to be sarcastic and the way you said things really hurt me too even it's coming to the end of the day.

bottom of the line: treat every monday like saturday. and continue to hate every monday.

This is so flattering XD

2009-11-18T02:11:00.002+08:00

March 28 Birthday

YOUR SIGN - Aries

YOUR ELEMENT - Fire

YOUR RULERS - Mars, Sun

The Astrological Interpretation

The symbolic representation for this birth date of March 28 Aries, identifies a very individualistic type of personality.

In addition, the March 28 birthday person is one who is considerably sensitive psychologically, and one who can be extremely observant and understanding when it comes to the feelings of others.

The great talent of March 28 is that you are able and willing to provide understanding and emotional support to those people who may need it.

You should be cautious however, as you might find that that you can be somewhat excessively influenced by such people when it comes to your decision-making processes.

You must take heed that there is the risk that you will allow you impulses and emotional feelings to overrule your reasoning and clear judgment when making decisions in respect of your own life and future.

As a March 28 birth date you prefer your life to have a clear-cut sense of clarity and direction and, in this respect and you will desire to have surroundings that will reflect this facet of your personality.

You simply detest disorder and untidiness around you and your preference for a more modest setting and surroundings might appear to be cold to others, However, it is a fashion that provides you personally with the sense of comfort and security.

http://www.arieswoman.net/march_28_birthday_features.htm

2009-11-14T01:25:00.002+08:00

walking in the drizzle, tuning to some FM and listening to some old time baby.
"If I aint got you" is always my favourite. this song has this very close bond between me and christmas and also, everytime i listen, i will recall that day when zheng wei was walking me home in the drizzle and it was a christmas night.

if i aint got you with me baby..so nothing in this whole wide world would mean a thing. If i aint got you with me baby..

BABEEEE! i know you dont really like this song. but this song means alot to me (:

last child syndrome

2009-11-08T21:33:00.004+08:00

sometimes, im cruel.
i dont give a damn to how you feel now. because you are too much.
in every way.

if i were not there to care for you, under this roof, you are just a loner.
i couldnt say that i've given you my fullest. but at least i tried to give you my best with the free time i have.
seriously, there is only one word that can fully describe how i feel about you. Disappointing.

i dont abuse my power because i dont assume that im more experienced and wise.
all you think that im controlling you. i have never call you day and night to check you out. i have never ask you to bring out your assignment for me to check.
i have never interfere about who you are talking to all day long on the phone. not even checking your message.
yes it's true that i searched up and down the house to look for your diary that day when i was flared but for once..i gave up.
now you challenge me.
what is there to be afraid?
too bad.
blogger search engine and POOF! here is your blog and im reading it now.
you dont even know what im thinking although you have been my sister for good 13 years.
you can try and upset me. but i wont.
you dont appreciate my help, there's no more help.
i will fold my arms and see you suffer.
i mean no interfering means this.
you hate me, go ahead. you dont even know how much i want to see you fall. this is how much i want to prove you wrong.
be stubborn and rude. stupid fat girl with her last child syndrome

2009-11-07T00:43:00.006+08:00

This week i didnt get much comfort.

finding someone to shop with me is way too difficult.. all have their things to do and especially marilyn D: she is talking her A level soon..

however i have found someone who is willing to spend his time with me :D my dearest ZW.
i was complaining to him about this semester that has just started. the timetable..the classmates and how it affects my social life. i couldnt believe that it was all so packed from 9-6 or 8-6. and someone has high tendency to fly aeroplane. and i swear i was so mad. because i had planned things nicely and not even the least..no initiative was taken. i hate last minute.
pitifully enough, the guy who dislike far east so much decided to go with me this thurs for some shopping therapy :D
this THURS IM NOT GOING TO SCH! clever michelle had already studied the study guide thoroughly and realised that there's only one hour lecture on THURS. so im not going to sacrifice my one hour in sch and 2 1/2 hours bus ride to and fro (:

OHOH! BTW i'll be making a french food. i dont know its name but i saw the pictures during Catering Technology lectures. seems to be delicious. im going to make it for ZW and his family (:
and i will also bring my baby out so that i can take some pictures of the food i made :D
simply love every saturday because i can cook for my love!

Oh yea! im so looking forward to the day we start cooking in the pilot plant. looking at the european kitchen, i had this temptation to pinch some salt and give flavour to the meat ^^
the chef will coach us leh (: cool not man
and our group picked French food as our chosen delicacy.
so we are making 1 soup, 1 appetizer, 2 entree and 1 dessert.
for soup, we might be having pumpkin soup or mushroom soup.
for dessert, i think fruit tart and brownies are well accepted by people :D
i just cant wait. seems fun (:
and mic is our group leader leh!

this semester, there is a higher chance that you kena a leader.
and im also leader for health and wellness.
D: sometimes i rather i work with someone whom im not so familiar with.
working with people who have dominating character is tough.

anticipating - 15 nov!

p/s: we are no longer close anymore. the four of us. because no effort seen. im scare. this is happening too fast. it was just like yesterday.. we were holding lanterns and laughing about those nolstagic photos and memories we had.

p/s: i miss mary!

and babe, one day i will change my name to dota and everyday you will pay your fullest attention to me(:

2009-11-06T00:23:00.002+08:00

because this is not 1 time. at least make some effort to tell me in advance. you hang me in suspend. you want to have a try?

2009-11-03T20:46:00.001+08:00

i want to go MUMBAI. or any place in north indian :D

making carbonara pasta :D

2009-10-31T20:14:00.006+08:00

late morning, we met up because this pregnant craves for carbonara from last night till today morning.

now we are on our way to PP to get our ingredients.

these are the ingredients needed. except for the campbell wild mushroom soup.
actually i supposed to make the sauce by myself. so last night i was doing research on the sauce and i was doing it SERIOUSLY. but then thinking of practical wise, he felt that buying a pre-made one was better. okay. cool. no need to trouble anyway :D

estimate the amount of macoroni that we should cook..

a handful?

WAHAHAHAHA. so chio! my dslr rocks.

MORE MORE MORE

another handful?

are you ready? :D let's get started!

while waiting...

HAHAHA we didnt take any photos. because we were too hungry D: HAHAHA

MY FIRST DSLR :D

2009-10-30T00:56:00.002+08:00

hey peeps :D this is the BOOMZ i want to surprise you!

Check out this box...it's a dry box

say hi to my NIKON D3000

let's assemble the parts and TATA!

SO CHIO MANZXWZXW!
it's so light..lighter than your dslr. you envy right? HAHAHA!
i cant wait to go for a photo shoot :D

after first week of school

2009-10-25T23:34:00.004+08:00

let me tell you how is first day of school :D
i pon. HAHAHAHAHAHA because i wasnt feeling well. again gastric problem.

anyway i went for the 2nd day..everything was quite alright..just that we have projects for each subject.
im so lucky :D because michelle and crystalla are in the same class as me.
but sad thing is. yong siang is not here. and i cant laugh at him anymore, because he did sth to his butt D:
LOL. and i dont use to the feeling of not disturbing someone like my favourite victim, boo keong.

alright now im down with cold. WTH. i keep telling myself to sleep early but my eyes are not closing. my homework is not done yet and im going to wake up at 5.30 to complete it.
RAWR. continue to work hard for everything. By Nov 15 i'll be so relieved.

btw im so excited about thursday! going to give you guys a BIG BOOMZ. so stay tuned (:

specially dedicated for you sucker :D

2009-10-19T01:21:00.000+08:00

I hate to see you in my life from now on.
because
1. you like to look back at our past and sort of revealing it to everyone.
2. you say shit things about me because i outwit you, my creativity is higher than you :D
3. you have no character because you beg on your knees to be forgiven.
4. Ego is 90% highly active and flowing in your blood.
5. you shit face is a despo looking for young girls.
6. you always pretend to be someone who is wise when no one sees wisdom in you.
7. you pretend to be kind but people knows that you are plotting some plans.
8. you thought that everyone should respect you because of your rank and position - i dont give a damn.
9. i like people who are being straight of what message they want to convey but you have this special bad habit which is to talk behind my back with others who are close to me in some way or the other.
10. you have cheated andrina and my feelings promised us that as long as you are there, we wont be involved in any complicated things or feel annoying. unfortunately, you are labeled as liar.
11. go touch your own penis and stop those acting cute poke-you-in-your-tummy. im not your plush toy.
12. you are so calculative
13. you love showing off..whatever you want to buy, just get it and stop asking people.
14. acting like some gentlemen with innocent mind. who the hell dont know that you are sick.
15. you leak out people's secret like a bursting pipe when people put so much trust in you.
16. you sow a discord between us.
17. stop digging the past out and bear all grudges and kindly move on in your life.
18. lastly, all these sum up and make you a bitchy himbo.

see. there are so many things i hate about you. dont say that i didnt confront you to tell you how i feel that night. it was a one to one talk and i told you that it's only between us.
i was merely stating the facts and i dont like to hide.
if you were not rising your voice, do i give a damn shit to waste my time and tell you all these stuff and end up showering in the late night?
if you think for all events including normal outings or events, i have to give you my respect by not telling you your room to improve, you would be the ultimate loser.

ANYWAY, you are already a loser.
you have used the ctrl+c to take my master piece and change a lil to become yours.
two days before the event, you knew that there wasnt enough human resource and i was there to offer my help, didnt i? yes, there's enough human resource but all of them were not allocate properly to do a specific job.
how many times much i tell you that, that day i wasnt telling you off but was trying to let you know that how your dear juniors felt which led to their poor attitude and performance?
yes i did say that the one i organised was much better than yours, didnt you agree with me that day? or are you selective deaf?
yes i did ask around.. it's just to know their feedback on this event.
why wouldnt you think that it takes two hands to clap? not totally their fault too.

you and all your nonsense.
just shut the fuck up.
i was nice to tell you things in your face. but you like to give feedback to others but not in my face. be a man la. come and tell me all your nonsense. i can reason out with you until you are utterly speechless.
since you like it this way, i shall entertain you.
thinking of how long i have been putting up with you..it's like good 6 years.
see i have higher EQ than you :D
go to hell la asshole.

a day trip to Har Paw Villa

2009-10-15T20:13:00.000+08:00

GOOD MORNING PEEPOs.

after working like dog for the past few weeks, i decided to give myself a break.

we wanted to go har paw villa since last last week. but unfortunately, i lost my cyber shot.

so now im waiting for the next IT fair and get my canon DSLR D500.

we took bus 158 and change to bus 30. it can be a long bus ride if you were with the wrong person, as for me, i think it's pretty ok because i got this joker with me. HAHAHA!

some lovely dovely photos..hope you dont mind :D

pretty bad skin because dead skin is peeling off my face.

zw still looks good :D:D:D

action siol. Dont allow me to take his face.

HAHA! CANDID

"i tell you this for the last time, DON'T TAKE PHOTO OF ME ONLY"

"SHIT LOR..only you have the right to take my photo."
:D

finally that pork wants a lovely dovely photo :D

look at this ah pek and his pipe.

AH pek has caught up with the modern days and smoke cigarette instead of pipes :D

MEDIC in ACTION

so exciting man! going to the 10 courts of hell. is there such a thing?

before entering..

look at his unwilling face D:

okay.. a lil better.

BEST SIOL! AWESOME

back to town at shaw tower.. ah loy thai is the restaurant that mary recommended. she said it's much cheaper and delicious than thai express. so im here :D

i can tell you that the herbal longan tea is damn cool. because the longan is like spam.
HAHAHAHA. pink guava also tastes nice.

calamari rings and tom yam chicken. WEEEE! SO YUMMY!

not scam ah.. full of chicken inside one leh. still got mushroom.
mushroom like spam one also.

conclusion, it's a good afternoon :D

2009-10-14T21:37:00.000+08:00

im so happy to see pris's missed call :D
HAHAHAHAHAHA! i miss you pris! and mary....should we go ikea again?

to pris: for whatever it is, as long as you believe in how you can change your fate, nothing is there to affect you (: and learn to turn people down and never let people climb over your head.

2009-10-11T00:59:00.000+08:00

still thinking if i should let peepos around me to know my blog.it's like a confession most of the time.and i wont like people who i dont really know well to read it because they dont know me.
if it happens to know my blog by chance, read all you want.

on wednesday, i went to meet crystalla, michelle and her bf william at bugis.
the girl who suggested bugis didnt know she was acty the one who wanted it.
HAHA. seriously i swear i miss crystalla and michelle.
and talking about poly friends, i miss the BB king and of course that sucker.

cant believe that up till now i still give people the impression of smoker, clubber and chao ah lian.
NEH NEH POK.

i hate smoking and i dont club.
i have never been to a club but i drink.
i dont hang hokkien words around my mouth all the time and i dislike people who decorate their sentence with vulgarities even they are not pissed, just the fun of it.
OKAY. so dont judge me by my looks and even judge me by the language i preferred.
i dont totally like english but im speaking ang moh because of majority of my friends speaks ang moh.
and im chinese. so i speak mandarin.
so i can speak perfect mandarin. so stop thinking that i failed my o level chinese.
WAHHH.
and one last thing..you dont know me. so put that finger on your lips or i buy you burger king.

cant wait for following wed to meet michelle.

E KEY YA

2009-09-25T00:09:00.000+08:00

hello! im supposed to sleep by this time. but then i think blogging about a date in ikea is an awesome thing to do.

early in the morning, 10.30 a.m we met on the bus 21 and go all the way to tampines.
we suppose me meet 9.30..but some ass slept late.
dark clouds gathered in the sky..it was threatening because i didnt bring my cool transparent umbrella.
i thought i was so lucky or something because it didnt rain until we were on our way to ikea (changing bus at tampines).
cool.
it rained badly we hesitated for awhile. either we run over or wait for the rain to cease or not so heavy.

romantic way = run over, holding hands and get drenched.

HAHAHAHA. zw kept saying that i was dumb because i ran a longer route.
how would i know..LOL. i was busy laughing, running, talking and holding hands.

i bought a night lamp and a pillow. total is 11.60. cheap like nobody business.
and i was badly tortured by the night lamp.
KOOKOO BIRD. i always hate it when i need to switch off the ceiling lights and jump onto my bed because im afraid of dark. partly because i have a lil night blindness, afraid if there's anything that grabs on to my legs.
cool enough, i switched on the night lamp. and it wasnt that bright but it had successfully disturbed my sleep.
i tossed thousands and million times from 1.30 to 3.30.
and i thought i could get use to it.
ne mama.
finally, i gave up. lights off and i will not put up with it anymore!
after purchasing the items, we went over to giant to shop for groceries.
HEHE cooking time.

here are the photos...

2009-09-22T01:21:00.000+08:00

i miss BOMB. that idiot shit didnt even on her phone when i tempted to call her and yes i did.
knn.

this is a retribution of going overseas too frequent.
after this trip, she is going for another trip. WALAU.

i have so many to say! kookoo bird. she better call me when she reaches sg.

/edited
looking forward to ikea trip later :D date at ikea. not bad huh? :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

2009-09-18T02:42:00.000+08:00

now it'a 2.42 am friday.

im not able to catch my sleep because of some stuff and play plock now because i need some entertaining stuff to fill my empty space.

at this late night, i kept thinking what had happened in the past.
i hate it when we fell into silence. it always means something is not right.
have we not use to be like what we used to be. or am i kissing goodbye to our used-to-be's ?
i want you to know that no matter where we are, communication is the most important factor which will affect inter personnel.

many many incidents, quarrels and cold war, all these have taught you about communications.
but it doesnt seems like we are improving the way we convey our message.
not like we have language barrier.

i just want you to know that.. speaking a piece of your mind can really prevent a lot of unhappiness.

instantly, i have so many of these mixed feelings. angry-not, upset-yes, happy-not, i'm-dying, please-kill-me, tell-me-this-is-a-dream, oh-no-not-again, no-more-please, love-you-always kinda feelings.

sometimes, i really wonder....ROAR ROAR ROAR.
please..

2009-09-17T14:40:00.000+08:00

ICE CREAM! ever since i enrolled into polytechnic, what makes me happy is eating ICE CREAM.
ice cream is my ecstasy. WAHAHAHA.
now im going to earn money like nobody business :DDDDD

and i cant wait for prawn fishing @ east coast :D

2009-09-14T15:31:00.000+08:00

Melted marshmallow stain on the side of my mouth XD

IM SO BUSY TO BLOG! alright. while im still having some free slot now, im going to briefly state what happens.

The class chalet i had organised was A.W.E.S.O.M.E! and we made friends with an ang moh, name: Andrew. he gave us 10 cans of carlsberg and 2 mineral water. WOOOO :D

but breezer is nicer(:
the next day, we slacked in the chalet till 10 when finally, we saw shadows at the front desk and decided to check out.

not even having a wink of sleep, my sis that idiot couldnt find any free time to go down to IT fair to get a printer. RARRRRR then i had to bathe and delete personal data and document in my hp laptop for sales.

sold my hp pavilion tx2000 at 450 and bought a new laptop, fujitsu tablet pc at 2388..good deal okay! comes with microsoft office 2007, one optical mouse, one 8gb thumbdrive.

bought one Epson printer, laser properties. WOWWOWOWOWOW..so happy now.
but the fuckup internet is killing me alive from yesterday till now.
all because of the router problem. when 2 PC are able to connect, 1 is down. when 1 is able to connect, 2 are down. NEHNEHPOK. anyway the router is damn freaking old. we used it for 8 years plus. time to change a new one!

WOWWWW so happy MANZXWZXW! now i got an easy job - sell mooncakes for marina mandarin at either concourse of Marina Mandarin or raffles place :D and upcoming im going for outside catering which easily earn me 113 bucks for 2 days. CANT WAIT!

i want IPOD touch and a nikkon DSRL :D here i come next IT fair :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

awesome

2009-09-05T01:05:00.000+08:00

we bought new dresses and i love my tan (:

hello my cup of coffee, could we drink and get drunk one day?

2009-09-01T22:11:00.000+08:00

this morning, i heard the beats of the rain drops against my window. air con was switched off and breeze from outside keep gushing into the room. alarm clock rang and gave a morning call to my darling. suffered from bad cramps and decided to take the old traditional concoct to ease my pain.
sometimes i rather get killed than suffering from those pain. neither i stand nor lie on the bed will help me feel better.

blah blah blah..

i miss you like @#%^&*( especially during windy days. hello are you there? keep mesmerizing your unselfish love, tender in doing everything for me..
HAHA. want a bowl of miso soup? :D

SAMSUNG STAR - what a VIBE

2009-09-01T01:07:00.000+08:00

i would like to announce that i have lost my 5 months old LG baby pink viewty.
it was quite devastating to know that I LOST MY PHONE AGAIN.

sometimes i really nod my head in agreement with those old wise uncles and aunties.
save for the rainy days.
COOL enough, i have enough savings to buy a brand new Iphone.
but on the second thought and also much persuasion from ZW, i decided not to get one in case i lose my phone AGAIN.

so i searched online..not getting a wink of sleep after thon-ning. and DADA..

*cybershot with ZW..have no choice but to use the lousy laptop built-in camera.

samsung gives you the best touch - samsung star! it is also known as The Magic of TOUCH.

remember that the very first phone i had was samsung T30. according to my brother, samsung is the first company that introduced phone with LCD screen (color) into the mobile industry.

WAHAHAHA. now comparing my lost LG and my new samsung star, LG LOSES!
LG viewty KU900 is a 3G phone with a inner and outer camera which is 5 mega pixels and comes with a flash. however the 5 mega pixels camera phone fails to function its macro zoom and always look so blurry in almost all the photos. and im not super into video call. it's a FAT phone that makes me look ugly in skinnies. it so why dont get a 2G?
samsung star is the coolest phone i have seen so far. user friendly and most important thing, it rocks a big time. not only it's slim like a highlighter, it is light and the stylus wont be blocking your fuck way. its camera is 3.2 mega pixels without flash. but how cares when i own a cybershot and a vivitar. the BEST thing in this phone is that it has widgets at the side, so that i can conveniently drag the widget that i want to the main screen and start dapping on it. its stylus is located at the side of the phone and it's not hindering my fingers. and i can change fonts as i like and the background too. dont judge this phone because it is a 2G. it allows me to go facebook and any online interactive media. it has rotation sensor (3.0" WQVGA TFT LCD) . this is all viewty cant do. and it doesnt have a sensor to detect rotation of the phone. and worst thing is that the battery span is SHORT. Star left 4/5 bars of battery after a day. WEAK(viewty).

Star comes with a handphone pouch too.

CHIO CHIO CHIO.
A WHITE SLIM CHIO SAMSUNG PHONE!
HAHAHA no more in gang with pris and hui peng..especially hui peng. (* cheers to marilyn's preston white) LOL! no more best friend phone. LOL! now im no longer jealous of your phone color because mine is white and slim! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

okay.

sorry bomb. but im still PROUD and SHOW OFF.

p/s: i dyed my hair from cocoa beige to dark chocolate :D nice dark brown and no one has yet to realise. come bomb, i help you dye(: no best friend phone also can have best friend hair color (:

2009-08-27T22:29:00.000+08:00

i feel so threatening when im bombing in the toilet and feeling that fainting urge.
i mean faint because im unwell not because im going my great business. it's like you are going to black out but you are suffering churning in your intestine, feeling many intestinal tanglings. keeping conscious while doing some irreversible events is tough.

last will: before i die, i dont wish to end up in the toilet.

7 + 11 = ?

2009-08-23T22:47:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR!

Presents : a bag pack for school use [swear to god that it is not any cheapo brand] and a baby bottle containing a birthday card buried with small balloons.

lunch: @ Tony Roma's

Neoprint session @ bugis parco

our very first neoprint (: although i kept pesting him to go for a neoprint session. Again he was trying to run away from it after promising me. HAHAHA. i caught you :D

LUNCH @ Tony Roma's (suntec city)

i chose to sit by the window because i can have good views of some 5 stars hotels.

heeehee.

look at his hungry look..you know what? he claimed that it was the hungry ghost festival so he was trying to say i was the hungry ghost. see who's the hungry one?

CAUGHT! he couldnt wait to start

hello to Carolina honey ribs (: a tinge of orange is well compatible with the roasted ribs :D
i told zhengwei that half slab with two other side dishes is enough to make him bloated. but he felt that it didnt look filling. so well, HAHA, here go his combo - chicken leg with tony roma's ret hots (half slab). he realised that his stomach was going 3/4 full and he was yet to finish his mashed potato and half slab of ribs. LOL! he began to come out with a strategic planning by give me 2 small piece of the slab. HAHAHA!
before that, i asked if he is serious about ordering drinks.
good to see that he actually enjoyed dinning in tony roma's and he claimed that the corn is well steamed. which i think it's just so-so. he saw oil oozing out of the mashed potato. he was slightly disgusted thinking that oil was added. mozzarella was the main culprit which secretly stores fats in it. cute. isnt he?

no matter what you people say-cute, pimpled, small eyes or handsome, he will always look perfect to me :D

COOOOLzZ. today i managed to get him to take neoprints, to take photos and to shop with me :D

i felt so accomplished but another thing to worry is that i have not done a complete revision of tomorrow tested subject D:

Freehand drawing

2009-08-22T21:32:00.000+08:00

this is for pris to see. here you go. and see if i deserve that kind of grade..HMPH D:

all drawn with markers or carbon chalks because freehand drawing doesnt allow erasing.

TAMAGOTCHI

BLANKO

ROLLER BLADE

POOL

NIKE WATER BOTTLE

KODAK EKTACHROME 64 (1)

KODAK EKTACHROME 64 (2)

SONY CYBERSHOT DSC-W80

VIOLIN

VOLKSWAGEN BEETLE CAR (my dream car)

GLASS WING BUTTERFLY (1)

GLASS WINGBUTTERFLY (2)

DIASY (1) - applied light sketches

DIASY (2)

DIASY (3)

PORTRAIT DRAWING with CARBON CHALKS

FINAL PROJECT (1) - Temasek Polytechnic

ORIGINAL SOURCE

DRAWN (1)

DRAWN (2)

FINAL PROJECT (2) - it's submitted to the design admin, it's use of 2 technics for two of a kind. i drew violins.

FINAL PROJECT (3) - DESIGN 25 (Theme: oriental opera masks)

afterall putting so much effort, i dont deserve what i should get for my portfolio.

luckily the effort for my final projects have paid off (:

somtimes..

2009-08-21T21:52:00.000+08:00

it's not even some effort you have tried.
RAR. sometimes..
not that i did nothing. it's just that i did everything but nothing is to your liking.

shit. this is -.=

when im holding on to your pinkie

2009-08-17T23:45:00.000+08:00

how about a long journey to school when you and your lovely loved are spending quality time together?
i might be sleeping and knocking my head on his shoulder or chest..but that's the sweetest moment because he doesnt mind me leaning on him for a short nap.

i like it when he crazily asks for a hug at the bus stop before we go up the bridge. i will constantly remind him to eat the breakfast i made..usually whole grain bread with skin and i know he doesnt like bread skin and ingredients are usually weird but good mouthfeel and taste refreshing (:
he might be thinking that im so freaking naggy but he still says i love you when we are going to our individual school.

nearly every morning, we do this..over and over again. and weird thing is..it's some kind of enjoyment :D

sometimes i will cry badly because im stucked and call him up. he will always put 50 percent of his concentration to hear what im going to say and 50 percent on some soccer match or WWE.
but i know he can always get a summary (: that's something cool although i force him to listen and repeat what i have said and he doesnt care much. HAHAHA.

the cutest moment is that he will always suprise me with small stuff like my favourite, yakult original, hello kitty 35 yrs collection, a big heart shaped lollipop. and then he would just pass it to me. he wont elaborate on why he get it, how he get it and never complain if it's hard to get out of his busy schedule.

at times, he will whine about how tired he is, how much he miss me, how sad/mad he is. it might seems gay to others. but i feel that it is good to have someone who you can take care of and come to realise that he is just like a pre-schooler . HAHA CUTE.

so whenever we are about to let go our hands, we are still holding on to our pinkies. in a state of felicity <3

saturday fever

2009-08-15T22:24:00.000+08:00

i cooked spagetti with spicy cod roe sauce. overall ..average?

and a sausage :D

this is something that i wrote it for zhengwei :D didnt know it was so cool-y wrote. like wow-okay.
anyway that's for him during our first year anniversary.

this is just too much

2009-08-14T19:18:00.000+08:00

i really cant stand people screaming at me.
trying to explain and got put down. No other people other than my mum and dad can scream at me.. even they scream at me without good reasons, i dont give face.

so please stop it. i hate it and feel threatened when you raise your voice to tell me off.

everyone has temper. dont vent your frustration on me. im TIRED.

when you have a family with alot of siblings..

2009-08-10T02:11:00.000+08:00

how you feel being the middle one out of all 5 siblings and in academic wise, you are not the best or the worst?

let's have a small introduction..

dad - got kick out of school since 13 but he's now a great businessman who gives inspirational talks.

mum - educational level up to secondary 4 not even a graduate.

eldest brother - graduated from ITE engineering, but not working in this field, instead, a chef

2nd brother - graduated from NUS IT computing, also not working in this field, worked as a manager in ritz carlton and quited his job to be a hawker under my dad's influence.

eldest sis which is me - in Manjusri, i got merit for new south wales maths..now still in polytechnic applied food science and nutrition, not the best in class and the worst in cohort.

2nd sister - cleverest among us. in primary school, she had taken math olympiac and in EM1 class. she got several awards from table tennis competitions. in tanjong katong girls', she was already in top 5, got awards from new south wales for getting high distinction for science and distinction for maths. by the age of 15, she entered TEMASEK JUNIOR COLLEGE and she is still one of the best students.

youngest sis - entered Anglican high just because the PSLE for her year was freaking easy and it was also due to moderation and thus she got the aggregate of 250. so far no award since young.

okay..let's move on..

today is the shittest day whereby i swear that i will never care about this family except for my 2nd sister.

i have been putting in my effort to satisfy everyone. but today i got the worst lines ever from my dad.

"stop trying to abuse your power and try to put her down. neither are you the creme of the crop. you're trying to act clever . you are nothing. teaching matters leave it to teachers. it's their business to educate my daughter. you are just trying to give her pressure so you can feel the ultimate pleasure and satisfaction in you. you are not in right position to say anything because you are not clever to do so. you are just hungry for power. you are such a selfish person."

so what makes my dad think that he has the right to talk about my academy when he was fired by the school since secondary 1? or i should say he was kicked out of the school. you are only clever or acting wise at the age of 35 where you started reading books but it's all CHINESE BOOKS.
you, as a public speaker, told me all these hurtful things, not even considering that im also a daughter of yours, your image of being someone great and wise is long gone.
i mean it was long GONE. because it wasnt once, it's all the time you are trying to overpower me with your words and anger. finally you have said that piece of your mind letting me know how lousy you think of me and so you think about my sister too.

i dont even know im your daughter. all the things you care is if i were to do anything bad so i were qualified to be a rotten apple. why dont you care about my health? my life? why is all these things bothering you when im not doing anything that spoils your reputation.

i swear that i have done my part as a daughter. to address you in courtesy, to make you feel like you are the best dad by giving you the best father's day, never talk back ever since sec 3, never talk to you impolitely, to concern you everytime you come home from work which gives you plenty of unhappiness and always say "thanks dad and goodbye" when you fetch me to school.

sometimes you said this, sometimes you said that. when are you going to stop your contradictions?
when are you going to stop psycho-ing me with your psychotic illogical words?
dont act profound anymore.
if your listeners were to hear what you this OH-SO-NICE daddy saying nonsense to us, who will be there for your next talk?

for your info, i will never come back to you to plead for your help even if there's a fall in my middle 20 or 30s.
i will be financial independent. your so-called not-very-clever daughter has already grown up and knows how to think for herself.

ALL these shits today wont happen if you were not being biased.
i lost my cool, wanting to shout a word FUCK at you. but i restrained. just want to stop all those screamings. im freaking fucking tired.

at the age of 18, im not jealous about the fact that im no longer your attention and most love is diverted to other siblings.
but why cant there be justice when you jolly well open your BIG BLOODY EYES to see who's right and wrong.

i never like to scream at someone unless the person talks to me impolitely.
being old fashioned or what, courtesy is what i like most if that strength is found in others.
if someone cant talk to me properly, why must i talk nicely to someone who keep yelling at me for no good reasons?

im upset, definitely but more resilient. learning that this family is damn freaking freaking screw up, i thought of putting my plan into action as soon as i graduate from poly and get a stable job. in this family, i can only pour my feelings out in front of my sister not the youngest, i fucking hate her now.
it's always her rebellious acts putting me in such a state.

in a chinese-speaking family with parents whose education is only at secondary school level, not even o level level certificates they earn,
i've tried my best to give my youngest sister whatever resourceful texts so her results would be better.
i've assigned homework - book reviews so that it can ensure that she reads enough and her choice of vocabularies is widen.

for each book review, i give her one week to complete. she had dragged on because her book review was not passable and i gave her another one more week to complete. and then now it's the three week.
she had given me the worst excuse and i tried to talk nicely.
freaking hell, she started screaming at me because i asked for her book review which was yet to be done at the time 10.48 pm.
i left her with two choices [at the point, i was already emotionally unstable, feel like yelling at that pork] - either she hand it in to me before 12am or she forever need not do whatever is for her own good.
the fire in her was burning and she was fuming, trying to argue that she was tired that's why she helped my mum to do some unimportant lame shit things.
3 WEEKS. nothing was produced.

as the eldest sister, i was worrying about her english grades and yet that fat bitch was screaming her throat out at me in front of two old ancient relics.
who stands a chance to win? it can never be me. because im not the youngest and not the best in academic.
GO TO HELL MAN.

out of my concern, i asked how's her book review and when she could submit.
arent i kind enough instead of screaming at her to show my worries?
i have two brothers but in my toughest point of life, they didnt even lend a helping hand.
i fought my way through.
i know partly it was about the age gap which i cant blame on.
being the closest to both sisters, i help whatever i can.
give them my advice when they have problem and help them in some fields that they are not very good in [such as biology, human and anatomy and organic and food chemistry]. never do i thought of using my powers to manipulate them.
I NEVER.
i dote them the most although sometimes i might laugh at them being such fatty bom boms.
i buy some food home because i know my sisters love food.
i share snacks with them knowing that house rule doesnt allow snacks especially for the both of them.
i try to let them learn not to walk my path as it wasnt a pleasant and smooth one.
all i have tried.
then why am i still getting hurt and defame so easily?

sometimes this is the problem of having a fat sister.
FAT BITCH.
cry in the toilet as if she is going to camp inside and explore the toilet.
why cry when you think you are freaking right and did no wrong to me? why cry so badly when you got two relics to help you and i have got no one? since you think im accusing you, then why cry so hard to force your lard tears out of your tooty eyes?
and you lies are running in between your teeth. i didnt even hear an apology from you.
who you are trying to lie to?
be an innocent shit.

anglican high is not a easy school to enter and it's not a very reputable school compared to TKGS which school ranking always in the top few in the whole of singapore.
you with your pig brain juice had changed our decision made for you LAST MINUTE before you threw the confirmation posting paper into the box.
and now you are trying hard to get fame or doing anything to be famous. do you think people want to care what a fat bitch trying to do?
you are such a bloody stupid ugly fat ignorant bitch and worse, having a sister like you, i feel so sucky and yucky.

i shouldnt have care more for you, wasting my time and effort trying to make your dream come true [going to st. andrew JC..now it's a BIG FAT HOPE FOR YOU]. you are just like any ordinary slutty people in poly - BITCH.
now im going to stick closely to be 2nd sister because we have given up hope on YOU. you are not well bred yet you are in such a well bred family.
you failed to be my sister.
neither are you caring, loving nor protective.
at such a young age of 13, you have started to care about your dignity and ego more than us.
siblings' love is the most important in a family.
dont seems like you know that trying all means to stop your sister getting hurt is more important than your ego.

NOW it's 2 against 1.
you can have all the fun to fight with me and fi.
you never win me in voice, in words and even in a fight.
LOSER.
go live your loser life.
you are protected by the two relics i dont care.
one day you will ultimately be that rotten apple. and their jaws will drop and you will give them the best gifts - HEART ATTACKs.

im so glad that i got someone to love me like fifi although she always KAOPEH me but still help me when i need help and i got my dearest Zheng wei to comfort me. unlike you, PORKSTER, cry baby go find daddy and mommy.
i cant be bothered about you from NOW ON.

BITCHZXWZXWXZXZXZXWXZXWXZXXZXZXZX! fuck MAN

2009-08-09T20:45:00.000+08:00

Friend U Choose to Keep.

and yes the acronym is F.U.C.K
go think about what you have done. no effort, i see little.
im utterly disappointed with you no matter how many million trillions excuses i try to cover up for you so i wont blame you for certain things.

YOU FREAKING PICK UP A CALL!
NNB.

tmr is the plan and you are not anxious about it. didnt communicate well enough with me.
nothing is done well.
are you serious about everything?
even a simple thing i need you to do..not even a call is made.
i waited like a fool and until i called you, you told me you went home because you were not feeling well. HEY?! how about me? i was on the verge to puke out whatever that went into my gastrointestinal tract and still waiting for you.

have you ever think that i also a ton of work to do like you?
i could selfishly think im the only one who is freaking madly busy with my sch work.
i dont give a damn to your situation. because i didnt sleep for 2 days. and im serious. 2 DAYS. and any other days, i only sleep for 5-6 hours.

is that your cell phone or your house phone? is it too heavy or are you hearing impaired?
you better WOW WOAH WEE pick up the freaking bloody phone.
p/s: you surely think that im angry with you because you dont pick up the phone. but think again..

i hate your excuses.
i lose my patience..
sometimes, humans are just like this. freaking fucking mad.
MADDDDDDD.

bleeding love

2009-08-08T19:06:00.000+08:00

why is it always the case..

wee hours

2009-08-07T01:34:00.000+08:00

now im having trillion and zillions of work to do. can i just take a break from all this shit?
for these few weeks ever since after term test, im working like slaves to pull up my gpa.
cool enough at one go, i settled 2 projects and a few reports.
this is freaking killing ME!
at this wee hour, im still chionging my log book so i can be one of those good student. hardworking?
HAHAHA. huiwen is never hardworking. i always give up when i try to be like one D:

WEEEE..it feel super duper good to stay alone in a room, surfing the net while doing my bloody stupid work.
but this feeling is not as good as having someone to skype with you like EP:D

im such a crazy bitch because i often have mood swing (because i dont get my sleep...not even a wink) and become a little paranoid. LOL!
but im still me of course. not losing the properties of myself.

RAR im dying.
everything now is not in my comfort zone. i crazily struggle to get what i want..even food.
i show lose of interest in home cook food and started to binge eat in school.
for your info, binge eating means eating in large amount at once and refusal to eat most of the time.
but when my carvings come back for home cooked food, my mum will not even call me wake up for dinner which she usually does and let me sleep till i thought i missed school the next day [in my dreams. it's usually about 8 plus 9?]
wonder if one day i will be suffering from some nervosa because i really dont feel like eating now.
but how can someone whose study specialize in food science and nutrition give up in eating?
RAR..im getting evem more paranoid when i learn about microbiology.
everytime, if i use soap, i will wash my hands in the correct method before i start to imagine that pathogenic microbes are multiplying on the surface of my skin.
freak.

then when i was exposed more to the nutrition side, i always thought that i was such a fatty and it's time to cut down weight when my bmi is only 19.5 [my weight is about 51 now and height is 162..previously my BMI about 20.3]?
ideal bmi yet not content. maybe because i brought myself back to secondary school days when i was a fatty bombom. WTH.

remember that i yelled at pris, pissed off with her for not eating her meals on regular basis.
her health status was worrying me because i started to see her as some old haggards. her face was yellowish, hair was dropping and fringe part nearly bald, her eyes were always tired, she was left with little fats and muscles because her protein was not spared and it was used to provide her energy. that period, i was suspecting that she was having anorexic nervosa.

so now pris might want to take a full revenge. she can yell and scream at me.
but im on medical terms now. i felt this way because there's side effect. all the time im feeling nausea (michelle said that it was morning sickness. because i was joking telling them that i prefer a shot gun marriage) HAHAHA!

at this point now, im still stuck at practical 7 and having 3 conclusions each of 3 practicals undone D:

what sia... MA DE.

and im super naggy today because it's again, FRIDAY!
how many fridays do i have before my main exam? =.=

p/s: i thought that i could take care of my nephew but my sis-in-law is a special woman with weird thinkings who prefers a baby sitter who is not blood related to her or her child to us who will love her child like ours. conclusion: women who are very successful in carreer more than marriage are usually having some problems in their psychological thinking.
BAD SHIT. my mum was ranting about not seeing her grandson and apparently she forgot that Issac is the name of her grandson. maybe she always assume that JJ was his christian name -.=

BYE-s

2009-08-04T22:48:00.000+08:00

i failed.

im not even the better..how would you even get the best?

and who is there to comfort me when i need someone to lend me the shoulder to cry on? who to care for my feelings?

_|_ blame myself. hate me. fuck. kill me, someone. NOW

SUPER SUNDAY

2009-08-02T22:48:00.000+08:00

hey it's SUNDAY MORNING! first thing we did in the morning is to do a pre-order for my brother. chocz cake, small and expensive D: 30 dollars flew away~

then we headed to city hall to buy EP's presentation outfit :D
okay i saw this cool ice cream. it's savoury! parmesan cheese with hazelnut..EWWW but the first few taste was really really amazing.

EW..weird.

and EP bought me something pink.

so i will never lose my EZ link AGAIN..no more 3rd time in the year D:

AND he bought happy meal because i wanted this hello kitty thing..i never like hello kitty okay! i like this hot pink apple.

HEHE

:D

2009-07-29T22:41:00.000+08:00

MY eyelids are heavy now.
everything seems to be happening.
seriously, you seems like you want to get back on me. but then only a petty man does that. have fun with your fake mask and childish attitude.

i cant wait to sleeeeeeeep but i still have a trillion things to do. %$$^%*()manzxwzxw
i want to sleep. if i can pon the lab tmr, i can have a good sleep but get killed immediately when i return to school.
RARRRRRRRRRR. tough man.

2009-07-26T01:49:00.000+08:00

YAY! every saturday is my cooking day with my dearest eggplant:D
fortunately, we were able to get 420 grams of mussels for 98 cents at cold storage.
and that pregnant man craved for salmon. LOL!
last week i also grilled salmon for him..he's not sick of salmon manZXWZXW D:
and so i bought a big slice of salmon and grilled peppered chicken.

RARARAR..i wanted to buy some alcohol but for a second thought. RAR!

okay anyway my baked mussels with mozzerella and cheddar toppings, and italian herbs were very successful :DDDD.

i know if bomb got to see this, she will pester me :D

cya tata..

all these times..what you have hold back

2009-07-26T00:43:00.001+08:00

yesterday i was hearing the truth of everything. blaming what i had done in the past which was why i deserve all hurtful words and actions.
however this partly have to thanks this girl whose thoughts are immature to make my life so miserable.

this girl played a part in his love life. she used to love him so much. waiting for his messages, hope that he will like her too one day. After much confession, they were together. soon they broke off because she two-timed. up till this part, upon hearing this story, i couldnt continue to be strong and brave.

he continued with his story..
he was heartbroken because it was his very first love. 3 days later, realising that he actually treat her better than the guy she two timed for, she requested for a patch-up. he agreed.
everytime the girl flirt around, talking about other guys in front of him, he would just keep quiet and his feelings were not uttered.
till one day, he knew that he didnt love her anymore. the feeling was too numb. he would not get jealous, heartaching or even angry at her.
and so they broke off.
all along, he had been nice to this girl yet she wasnt appreciating his love. till now, she doesnt understand what's the feeling to wanting to last long with someone and stay faithful.

i told him that it was the scar the girl left in his heart. nothing good but one big and healing scar.
anytime anything any actions will remind him about that scar.

now im unable to sleep. because of what he has told me.
the past influence the present and future.
that's not right.
throughout this whole journey, i pretend to be strong. and im not.
tears formed a pool. if it wasnt because of that girl, things would even turn out to be better.

trust wasnt there when i thought we were loving.
my heart was bleeding and it couldnt be seen by him.

now we are picking up the pace. im glad and touched.
why wouldnt this happen earlier, so i could save those time covering myself in the blanket, hugging my bolster for comfort?
we are meant to go through all these.
and now, i know we are ever ready.
because we have learnt to let go the past and appreciate our present and future.

you know this.. we are cool.

dying

2009-07-15T23:08:00.000+08:00

IM FREAKING TIRED!

no matter what, i wont give a damn about you. cry in front of me, my heart will still be hard like stone. your pitiful act is not my weakness. because you dont worth it.

what you sow is what you get at the end of the day.
so this is the seed you sow. go and have a taste of your own medicine.
im not that huiwen you know. once, twice, thrice. how many chances have i given you? i should say, you dont know me. you didnt seize those chances, your problem.

save you - linkin park

2009-07-14T21:53:00.000+08:00

okay.. enough of pictures. it's a long story why i ended up in Tan Tock Seng emergency department. but it was really tough when the doctor couldnt get the needle into the vessel and she was pulling it once and twice to make sure she got it in. UNFORTUNATELY..she couldnt and that's explain why i had a plaster on my right hand and it was swollen and bruise.

actually my left hand is a better option (some area near my brachioradialus muscle)..okay somewhere at the mid of your arm and hand where you can bend. she used a smaller needle and indeed it got thru :D told you.

you know why? HAHA because this is not the first time i stay overnight in a hospital..i think for a few times and there was twice for 8 days. HAHAHAHA.
okay maybe shattered memories came back when the needle got into my flesh.

seriously, i hate needles. i swear i cry like some weaklings but this time, i was BRAVE. in fact, i should say SUPER BRAVERY BIG BRAVE. FINALLY! i have overcome it. yet i still hate it now -.=

for that good 5 hours plus, i was lying like a vegetable because my left hand felt the sodium chloride pumping into my veins and i felt like i got several small but IMPACT punches on my arm.

my fever didnt subside..it was even worse. from 39.5 - 41.1 degree Celsius. 1 1/2 hour later, my body temperature still stuck in that high fever temperature range. so many nurses and medic came to me. -.= because they couldnt hear my heart beat clearly. RAR...LOW BLOOD PRESSURE.

"sorry..i dont think you can go home. you need another 2 bags of these (sodium chloride)"

okay. 2 bags after 2 bags = 4 bags of 500ml of o.o9% of NaCl
DIE DIE DIE.
i thought hui wen was dying. i still sent message to her current class rep, her ex class rep, her poly good friend and her boyfriend that she might be dying so please prepare to come visit her.

HAHAHAHA!
COOL I TELL YOU.

2.15 am. fever still not subsiding. and i felt like one of the H1N1 patients. i was wearing a mask, wet towel over my forehead, whole body covered with white blanket, a tube sticking out of my body and yet nothing had turned out well.

3 am. "still low in BP after 4 bags of NaCl..erm..still have fever. but better.."

5 mins later..."okay! you may go home :D"

COOL! CANT WAIT.

DAD and FATSO WERE SO WORRIED THAT THEY WENT TO NEWTON TO EAT SUPPER!
WHAT A GOOD EXCUSE TO USE. HAHAHA BOTH FATTY! HMPH!

1 hour later, DISCHARGED!
go home chiong report then sleep:D

p/S: first time having so many pills to eat D: sick of swallowing it. and both hands are aching like mad. eating bread, drinking plain water since saturday evening. SHIT DAYS.

whatever, all is none of your business

2009-07-08T00:22:00.000+08:00

im contented. who im with and what im doing now.
with people who have hearts of gold, with trust given.
however you know that some people are bitches in disguise.
*small voice* OMG! How?

apparently, you are an unqualified teacher who is trying to judge how hardworking i am.
maybe even teachers cant judge. they never know if the students really did their work or just copy blindly from given notes or info from books/internet.

i can assure you that your eyes are always blind and you are in no position to judge anyone because you are such a rotten apple which has an empty core.
my business has got to do with me and my group mates, not to you - tom, dick, harry, jane or mary.

you just mind your own bloody bitchy business before incurring in my wrath.
and stop being hardworking when you merely copy things from some reference text that people have found for the group or what people have done and make those your own master pieces. it makes you stink. _|_ don't try too hard, dear.

what a country to visit

2009-07-04T20:19:00.000+08:00

HELLO PEEPS. i have kept my promise(: here it goes..

i like both stitch and scrump (:

HEHE..I think scrump and i have a better affinity.

people with braces sleep like this..EWWW...

fat-so wants to be a movie/drama director and so now she is k-ing books.

3 1/2 hours later...PHILIPPINES

roam around to be more familiarize with the area around the hotel we staying.

dinner at Z..okay let's forget about the restaurant name. the food is not nice either. i think the only food that is passable is its BBQ PORK. anyway this performance to make your mood on a light note [the food really turns me off..]

HAHAHA..some dumb ass XD but COOOL

WALAU EH. what comes around goes around... im another dumbass.

next morning 11/6 Philippine's national day

cute horse :D i like the BON BON on his head (:

TAU HUA with malay sugar syrup...PASSABLE?

Flag rising..

we are here at some historical place

FATTY and SIS

FORT SANTIAGO

i see YOU! HAHAHAHA..AGAIN. is it you?

YES SIOL! LOL so fated.

this is life of heaven and hell..

SLUMS WITH LOUSY AMENITIES and NO FACILITIES(hell)

HIGH-RISE BUILDINGS WITH GOOD FACILITIES AND AMENITIES (heaven)

hell is just on my left and heaven is on my right. in the middle, developing going to be developed.

War-of-Prisoners were locked in here and drowned to death due to the high tide of water and also it's an one way exit.

one way exit ^

in the afternoon we went to see the smallest volcano you can find on earth. it's located near philippines!

too fat..

TATA!!! so small.

the restaurant we dine in. COOOL! food is better this time round and i miss the german pig knuckles. SO SAVOURY!

WOOOTs!

p/s: i didnt take anymore photos because i was rather pissed off with the servers over there and the places of attraction are not attractive. k bye

in this deep hot lava pool

2009-06-30T00:45:00.000+08:00

you don't know what's next..my future is laid on the hands of the unknown. thinking of middle age woman about 38, give birth to her first baby daughter, how is the baby daughter going to live her life if the middle age woman were to be in the heaven when her child's still young? or even worse. at the age of 55, her youngest child is only at the age of 13.

now problems arising, i know i'm not that likable child anymore. ideas, thoughts - always conflicting. and that makes me so pissed.
these few years, i have seen what's going on in this family.
things i wish not see or say. every time i find it so difficult to swallow this whole chunk down my throat.

we have a plan. plan of being independent. we know that one day the same blood flowing in us will just mutate. siblings would split into two parts. we will never come to a peaceful agreement or talk.

age gap is one of the biggest problem which makes all of us lose faith in. i never know this can be a problem as long as we treasure this special fated relationship until jealousy burns your hearts.
till the very day, even we turn this table upside down, i will still stand strong with who i am, how i am and what i have.
im ready since young, we are trained to be independent even the sense of insecure and being dependent still laze around in our body.

everything is a problem. and humans are the main cause.
I'll be expecting things to happen. but I wont accept and resign to my fate.

f*king breastless woman

2009-06-24T20:58:00.000+08:00

i bet you are not aware that my hate for you has grown from 0, gradually to 10^infinity.
one good phrase for you : go to hell you fucking bitch.

you might seems to be some GREAT-OH-NICE person in people eyes but it's a explicit fact to me that you are a despicable wretch. everytime you piss me off, i feel like eating durians and spit that durian-taste-contaminated saliva on you. EWWWW..awful right? for people like this, you deserve a good spit.

Asking my conscience, what major things that make you so pissed off that your mouth gets bigger each time you complain.. you are just petty over minute things. results, project, homework, outfit, behaviour, attitude. even bother if i attend classes. it's my freedom, my style of doing things. i did nothing to offend you.

Every time i try to forget about what you have done behind my back, your words and nonsense kills my forgivings for you. you are such a pain in my neck.
your sleepless nights are all caused by your guilt. your bed, pillow, bolster;everything you have to make you feel comfortable to sleep, ALL ARE GUILT.
your conscience knows that you are acting against it. that's why you cant even start a normal conversation or you use your pretence to cover up all your disgusting side.

i hate you. ALOT and really.
you make me puke upside down because you are too disgusting, too pretentious.
you are the worst creature because you cant wait to show people how benevolence you are, how righteous you are and how a born-leader you are. but the true you is a null.
there's nothing good i can see in you. you are critical in your thinking, never know there's alternative. your dominance is pissing everyone off. your OH-ARE-YOU-OKAY (*act sweet voice) is making people sick. your biasness has made you the worse person on earth.

my eyes are meant for beautiful things and humans.
if any bad falls on you, blame yourself for being ugly - heart, soul and body. that's why i cant see you now.
dont piss me off anymore..i wont take your nonsense, i warn you.

_|_ you

do you know i miss you, Friend?

2009-06-16T01:29:00.000+08:00

i dont know if what i heard is true. but i think since there's such a thing and people are spreading, 80% of what had been said should be true.
and i bought something for you. maybe i would give or maybe hesitate.

i have just came back from Metro Manila, Philippine.
it was my worst trip ever.

the countries that i have travelled these good 12 years were
1. australia [melbourne, sydney, gold coast]
2. south korea
3. china [wuhan, fujian province: fu zhou]
4. malaysia [kota tinggi, kuala lumpur, genting highland, ipoh, tioman island]
5. hongkong
6. taiwan [from taipei all the way to tainan, gaoxiong]
7. thailand [phuket]
8. indonesia [bali]
9. philippine [metro manila]

and out of the 9 countries, Metro manila gives me the deepest impression and it's a WOW!
i'll update you with photos (:

there aint nobody better

2009-06-09T22:08:00.000+08:00

things are looking great now. no more words, just a hug, we understood. it's the telepathy.

we are not going to let go of our hands anymore <3

YaY! i can finally enjoy my holiday :D no worries manZXZXZXW HAHAHA!

are we meant to be?

2009-06-09T00:12:00.000+08:00

yesterday i was thinking the one whole night.

plugged in my ear piece and tuned to "if i aint got you".
memories of the very beginning were playing like an old movie film in my head.
everything from the scratch was perfect and sweet. yet now everything seems to be affected by the past. we are not screaming at each other, we are not quarreling. it's not right. we started to give laconic replies because both of us sense something is not right.

now, im lost.
why are we like this? 1 1/2 year is not easy.

i couldnt fathom if you were to leave me.
this is not what we both want.
im throwing tantrum - crying, screaming, yelling.
nothing is right to make me feel better.
skip meals, sleeping, trying to forget how hurtful it gets - seems like i was arrowed by an amazon.
i couldnt feel your comfort even though you told me 'i love you'. this is hurtful.
the word 'tomorrow ' is too scary. i dont know how to face it. i'm scared.

the hurt is too much and cant be described, this is not even inflicting 1/4 of what im feeling now and then.

dont let the past influence get you down.

btw:
and damn fuck. the joke played by all of you is not funny. i dont give a damn to whatever you guys say anymore. try me if you think im gullible __

2009-06-07T12:54:00.001+08:00

Camp was so-so. the only part i like was friday night with jia rui and ervin, dragonboating with wenfeng [my right hand] and campfire (:

I LIKE the jumpshots taken and rebecca is an idiot :D AHAHAHA camp to her=bitching session :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

i have to agree with ervin that campfire beats club because campfire rocks :D
and to him...maybe he love touching young girls :B
okay im done. too doos

i cant tell you how much i miss you

2009-06-04T23:35:00.000+08:00

because i want you to feel how much i miss you, words are nothing, baby.

WEE it's holiday. i cant wait to go out with EP and friends.
i want a tan!

im a confused kid.
DDDDDDDDDDD: anyone to confide?

i'm scared.

is it our nature or we are nurtured to be like this?

2009-05-31T14:35:00.000+08:00

when you have come to a certain age, you will start to think about the events or incidents occured in your life..

and i have come to a conclusion that humans are the most scariest creatures on earth.
so what i can tell you is that please take care because i can longer protect you and guide you.
you have taken up this path and i am no one to tell you things.
i cant give you my piece of advice although it might helps if you heed it.

Many times, i was astonished and in fear. i wonder how is this person managing a two-life when one life is so hard to deal with..or doing things in double standards which often contradict with their principles..

no doubt that these are all over the places. however the number of such people doing such things are increasing like nobody business.

friends are to be doubted. i mean CERTAIN.
the one who always claims that she would be with you will turn out to be someone who hurts you the most. once bitten, twice shy. i really dont know how although my heart wants me to follow where i should go.

at this point of time, trust is no longer important because most of them turns out to betray it.
one of my friends said," the key to friendship is to have your two eyes closed and your hands opened to embrace whatever it takes."
however will some shameless person able to sleep on a pillow without guilt even if they were treated like this when they dont deserve to?

"it's a heart of gold" who to prove when the world has infinite number of ugly hearts covering the earth..

now my perspective has changed. im going to take things easy and let things go in their own way.
i'll never insist the way that would brings a better outcome while others think it wouldnt be that case. try hard to come with a better solution is difficult. no one is standing in your view to see things.

from now on, i can only be a listener and will only strike in protest - silently or otherwise, occasionally. i dont want to get involved in things that makes me feel as though lemon juice was spilled into the blood pumping into my heart - fatal.

p/s: im going to Philippines on 10 june to 13 june. and i like this song from Duffy - i'm scared.

I'm scared to face another day
b'cause the fear in me just won't go away.

LA and i - not fated to the very max

2009-05-27T00:21:00.000+08:00

MY LA TRIP IS CANCELED ONCE AGAIN. WHAT THE @!#$^*

im was so looking forward to June holiday because i thought i would be spending my great 2 weeks in California.
apparently, kiasi singaporeans are afraid of swine flu. but now US is under control already.
i received a call from Chan's Brother in late morning telling me that the tour group couldnt be formed because the minimum pax is 8.

RARRRR!! now buying Marshmallow PEEPS will be a big fat dream for me. DAMNNNNNNN!

however there are possibilities that i would be going to Philiphines or Taiwan. Because my dad still cant decide where he wants to go.

but look at a lighter note, the money i was going to spend in LA is now going to be part of my savings and SHOPPING SPREE cash :D:D:D:D
p/s: Singapore Sales are coming!!!!

finally i know why science school has nerds.. because all subjects have heavy contents, never ending tests, never ending assignment, never ending lab reports, never ending practical and EXAMINATIONS! one year left to chiong our GPA so everything is a must, every homework will be good practices to make us learn.

it's so hectic and i cant help to feel like ponning lectures to catch my sleep.
everyday sleep around 2 and must wake up a few hours later at 6.30 and catch my 1 1/2 hr bus ride to school so i'll reach school at 9.
that's why i couldnt wait to go LA but now it's CANCELED!

in the night, i keep having this hungry feeling..till now. LOL! i thought how alienated i am eating so much yet im not contented.
i gave a shock to many of my friends that i can eat a 1 foot long SUBWAY MELT with 2 double chocolate chips and a large diet coke for a meal. and eating one Double McSpicy meal upsized on my own for dinner.
is it because im feeling the stress running in my blood, screaming "more food helps to relieve stress"?
or am i a glutton?
Luckily, that time i went to Mary's house to study, i saw a box of snacks and she gave me one INDO tapioca chips. and now im munching them into my stomach to shut the mouth of hormones which give my brain signal telling me im hungry.
MARY stones :D

and i was having diarrhoea this early! Diarrhoea comes with a great package - Diarrhoea+Weird dreams+Cold sweat+exhausting.
i thought i was in the Willy Wonka's fantasy.
GREAT my ass.

frankly speaking, my attitude for my current unit has become I-DONT-GIVE-A-DAMN. Maybe im sick of the on-and-on situations, double troubles and the people who dont like to listen and always trying to interpret. this kinda pissed me off. let me know when im needed. let me know when the unit is ready. then i'll decide if this unit worths my time and effort.

okay IM TIRED. IT'S the word DAMN i should say (:
toodoos :D

2009-05-23T18:46:00.000+08:00

my very next art work is...

draw a very typical part of TP and do technics to make it look WOW.

this is my sketch book [going to hand in damn soon].

you know what my teacher ask about this drawing...?
is this some kind of baseball? DAMN IT. because pool was not famous in his time!

later part of april, school anniversary

HARMONY! i bought a sunflower for her and bought some other flowers for the sec 4 who got award.
and a chocolate treat for all my guides (:

p/s: i have not receive the photo i had taken with hui peng T.T
and i miss her alot ):

DURING OUR HOLIDAYS

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDD he is my eggplant :D

back to school..see such a eye sore thing.

what a disgrace. library is not a suitable place. we dont want to watch free shows!

SAY HI TO MIC..she is my favourite. if i were to take bus 15 all alone for my whole 3 years in poly, i'll be some damn autistic adult EVER. we have something in common (:
crap, play, sleep in lectures and tutorials, skip lectures like nobody business and yet our results are still better than those who go lectures :DDDDDD she is my buddy MANZXWZXW.

AT NEWATER ONCE AGAIN

want some tim sum buffet? here we are at exculsor hotel (: so lao kok kok place but it serves nice tim sum (((:

huiwen is master of scorpion plaits (: maybe only for her own hair style or her sis. HEHE /:

BTW, im feeling the stress all over me. everyday is like O level.
every moment is like taking final exam. EVERY SECOND in poly kills me.
im not coping very well but im still managing.
TRYING HARD.
ROAR OUT the discomfort, unhappiness and tireness in me.
i want HOLIDAY! Yay! im still going LA and pris is going to JAPAN :DDDDDDDD

2009-05-08T00:54:00.000+08:00

There are so many things going on nowadays.
im affected badly.
because someone i know who really dotes me alot is suspected to have Tuberculosis [which is known as TB].
According to my sis, one of the symptom is that joints will loosen and cause bones to dislocate and breathing difficulties.
this has already happened to him a few weeks ago.
im worried for him. do you want to know the BEST DAMN THING?
he is engaged and going to get married in December.
im scared. i dont like the feeling of losing someone. it reminds me of my descended grandma.
BYE BYE by Mariah Carey often rings by my ear sides. how can i forget how much she love me?
remember one funny and stupid part..when i was about 4, my mischievous act had caused her to choke on MacDonald french fries when she was snoring. and yet she didnt even reprimand me.
everytime she protected me from those caning marks..secretly kept a pack of sweets in my bag. [because my mum strictly banned us from eating sweets since young till primary 3]
every single thing..i still cant let go.
my emotions are too overwhelming now.
am i losing another person who is so darling to me?
mix of feelings.
this is so wrong.
and when my gastro problems knocked onto my door, i know im starting to lose my appetite again. vomit,diarrhoea,upset.

BTW.P/S:
Truly..im disgusted by you.
knowing who you are now gives me a clearer view who should i give my trust to.
no longer you.

i dont need some confused people to tell me what to do or advise me because at the first place, they dont even know what they are doing. dont call a kettle black when you are one.
I dont need anyone to tell me how to love someone, how to do things in right way.
freaking stupid because i got my own life and ways of doing things.

i was blinded by your ulterior motive. you contradict your own principles and i found many thumb knots in your life.
FREAKING LIFE i dont want to know.

i wish that you will be exposed by my dear friends in front of everybody:D

2009-04-25T00:41:00.000+08:00

MM bitching session HAHAHAHAHA.. look at this girl. she is a trainee in MM and we hate her. because she is a CHAO AH LIAN. LOL. ah lian got typical look - thick eyeliner :D:D:D

OUR MGM :D:D we met up at MS starbucks and went to MAKAN SUTRA to makan :DDDDDD
and it makes me happy because gangsters are doing a great job and i got back my BIG appetite.

2009-04-21T20:09:00.000+08:00

i have to admit that i really hate my year semester 1.1.
the feeling of dragging yourself to school early in the morning.
not only friends in polytechnic are so strange and insincere to everyone, the subjects we learn are totally pissing us off and discouraging us to learn further.

now..it's semester 2.1. shit feeling coming back. but this time round..feels different.
it's like 1.2 :D found my group of true friends. however i can feel the pressure coming and im dragging myself to school DAMN IT.
quizzes and class tests. how can we not care about those D: ?
thinking of how many subjects i put in my 'top ten "hate" list', trying to get something i dont like into my brain and absorb.. WT?! learning something i dont like just because for the sake of my GPA =.- half of my poly life is ruined by the timing. nearly half of the day in school in semester 1.1.
now looking at my timetable, this is not the worse one..not the good one too.

RARRRRRR!!! #$@*&(! SEMESTER 2.1 IS MY NIGHTMARE!

2009-04-17T20:34:00.000+08:00

sense something?
why is everyone thinking the decisions they made are always the best when it actually affects most people around them? please take us into consideration.

now i lost my mood. i dont feel like blogging about my bday. because there's nothing to be proud of being a 18 year old human.
like one of my friends said, when you were at the age of 13, you hope that you could watch NC16 movies..when you hit 16, you thought that 18 will be cool because it's a legal age to buy alcoholic drinks, smoke cigarettes, go pubs and clubs and have immoral activities.

now im 18, i feel that life is getting way too complicated. because adults love mind games and they also love to test people's EQ.

18..a colourful age. my life. everything. if i know that there's someone to confide and someone that im not very close to, please, let me confide in you.
i have got so many to tell but it doesnt seems to others that im troubled. com'on. doesnt mean i dont look like, im not..

great pile of shit :D

2009-04-03T23:33:00.000+08:00

the most pissed-me-off thing is that when im trying so hard to explain why im acting this way, people always tend to interpret and make things sound bad. OKAY im really not getting my sleep and i dont want to get into unnecessary things just because i want to explain myself. i feel that it's so tough that i hardly catch my breath. i have been explaining myself [because people keep asking me for acting in some ways or wtv] for a good years of 18.

and tell you people one last thing. if you people dont want politically right answers, then dont ask me, because my words will always and really put you down badly.

2009-03-31T22:36:00.000+08:00

im not suppose to blog now because im working early in the morning and going to run an errand and back to MJR for ventures events.

i know i have not blogged about my bday. but let me just rant abit.

after blog hopping for almost 2 hours. i somehow have this feeling inside me..a feeling that has lost since i graduated.
thinking of teachers now.. i cant even remember mrs tan..who is known as prof. snape all along.. i mean i took a long time to remember who's mrs tan. i only remember mr lee, ernie and mdm cheah who gave me the most impact in my secondary school life.

haha dealing with poly maths now isnt a problem. because now i see why people always say practice makes perfect.

currently, im in redfox ventures..an active member although my boyfriend didnt really show support or should i say he shows little support.
erm. being in such a situation where guys are more than girls, it has become something that im used to. not much of a worry because im always faithful as this 16 months show.
in guides, all i thought of was to bring up the girls and make them a better future leaders. because we were going to spend our good 1-3 years together, i screwed them, knocked them down, pissed them off, yelled at them and hardly talked to them nicely [sounds like im another navjoth.. HAHAHA.] so maybe by learning the hard way, they would forever remember in their heart. being a failure or successor, i dont know..im not in the right position to judge myself. but at least now i know that they appreciate what i have done although they hate me like shit in the past or maybe some of them do now for whatever reason it can be.

now in scouts, things are different. we were not there bonding with them when they first invested. somehow we are seen in no position to instruct, advise and teach them. maybe not as a whole but for the female side. however it has become a explicit fact that females can join ventures. we are here, hello?

our roles in ventures is to work as a committee and come out with events and we work it out together with each other help.
how about scouts? bad news to them.. system has changed. from the past i know ventures and scouts are never one system. but now we came into the picture due to the changes made by the leaders and have to create this bridge to pull our gap closer.

due to manpower problem, ventures are now involved to advise, instruct and teach.
we are there to assist the leaders or for any other reasons that you might think. if my job is just to be a programmer in ventures and not involve in scouts, i would be stretching my toes and need not crack my brain for any further notice or events, trying to squeeze some spare time out of my busy schedule,to ask my dear ventures down for meeting and help for planning. we are not here for no good reasons. think..never were they in our shoes looking from our angle.

we never want to screw them ..piss them off. it was just one incident and they are now bearing grudges. let's see what we can do on 14 april. i cant wait for the day. we dont need time to accept them because we are ever ready. it's them who need time. so use this time given [1 month time ] and learn what's maturity. and would they one day appreciate what we do for them in the future like my dear guides? trying harder to make things possible might give a backfire. soon we shall see.

im not trying to give any wise words or nag on. because these have always been in my heart that i have to let it out.

and MM AQM.soon im going to leave you because these two words, our welfare, are the last that come into your dictionary. not to see you anymore when holiday ends. goodbye.

2009-03-30T00:09:00.000+08:00

thanks REDFOX, GG, BOMB and friends, poly friends and the rest of the people :D
special thanks to REDFOX leaders and ventures and my clique including BOMB and BEST.
i'll blog about my bday soon:D

by the way, though i acted like im not bothered, actually deep down in my heart, i really mind about your absence. i really miss you my friend. all of us know the reason why you are grounded. i was v. touched [i swear i felt like crying at the point of time] when i saw the cake and the present from you. i know i was never forgotten but..hardly play a role in your current life. hey i hope we really meet up soon. hope we still can catch up. frankly speaking, i really miss you. you may want to arrange a time with me.

2009-03-24T19:21:00.000+08:00

weee~ best secretly told bomb that we are going prawn fishing tomorrow :D wahhh! WE'RE ANTICIPATING!

i want to go HAJI LANE AGAIN :DDDDD not to have any sheesha. but to shopppppp :D:D
COME MONEY! COME TO ME :D:D:D:D

2009-03-23T11:06:00.000+08:00

now im officially a venture in Red Fox Scouts :D
VTC was fun (:

p/s: we saw rong yan :D she looks different but great and truly speaking we miss her. great to know she's doing fine(:

2009-03-16T23:13:00.000+08:00

YOU ARE TURNING 18! happy?

yeah fucking no.

good evening people or whoever bitches or bastards reading this.
im now not in a good mood due to certain things.

maybe i should be happy because im meeting my dearest lovely mary tomorrow because i miss her.

well to another friend, do you miss me or even us?
even if so, your actions are not telling us the truth.
not in the society yet. but we are acting like one. trying to act busy when you can be as relax as the guppies in the tank.
we do have time. it's the way we organise and find ways to make ourselves free.
not say im perfect in this. but im learning.
have you even learn?
see your priority? or are you always not letting other priorities to become one of those significant ones?

i want to be v. frank. but how to? you are always taking this as a piece of shit.
tell me the last date we met? erm.. let's talk about outing.. it's nearly 3 months for your info, blurry?

you and your fucking $@#%^&*() im really pissed.
dont tell me you are going to do what we missed in the holiday during my bday. because you know the next thing i will do is to cab home w.o giving you any face or even beat you up [if only you change your sex. i will if you are a male]
you created this shit and you clean it now before it hardens and decomposes,
i hate to listen things i dont want to hear. and dont let it repeat in my ears.

goodnight peepo.

btw the things i learnt in job week camp are RESPECT and SEXIST.
the things i learnt in job week are sincere and dont take things to heart. because you will feel many setbacks after the end of the whole jobweek.

To scouts:
you just dont know my background stories and who i am because you all werent there. ask PTW or GKM. be mindful that im the programmer of venture exco. meaning most of the time i'll be planning activities or camps for you. mutual respect is needed. i want it recipocal. or you will be attending the worst nightmare in your life if i were to be in the wrong mind because you deserved it. i'll try my best to give whatever is best for you. fun and whatever you all hope for. and good luck for whatever happens in the future. my last warning.

2009-03-11T12:07:00.000+08:00

DDR has become our past time. we are not doing it anymore. it's not something we look forward to. maybe im the one who cares to take a look and make sure the feeling is always there.

all of a sudden i feel like singing..
come away with me- norah jones [vocal jazz]

this holiday is not fruitful at all. things are not planned in the way we thought.
we thought we could have a sleepover at mary house. but now seems like i have become the organiser of the sleepover and my only participant is mary.
you have you and your interest.
okay.
i know.
whatever.
nevermind.
compromise.
and i shall shut up.

i really hate this feeling because things have changed over the night.
BOOM! another wave of unexpected.
im not a superhuman.

it's only when you are busy, you will find/try to squeeze a slot of free time for others. and im busy and so
im tired.
nowadays it's difficult to find someone to talk. or am i concealing myself with those troubles and secrets i have?
no i know im not that..or am i adapting to situation and have made a change?

com'on huiwen.
your teenage treasure hunt is meant to mermerize.

im feeling $%^*&() i dont know.
it seems like as i get older, im losing things.

when you told me you got this and that and whatever you can burp it out, i got the urge to put down the phone immediately w/o saying goodbye. i make my time for you. all rejections piss me off. all arrangements dont go right. we are not supposed to behave like this.
NO. as much as i could, i wish that my mouth is shut so i wouldnt comment and hurt our feelings. you explained plenty of time telling me not because you spend more time with him, means im losing touch with you. but now?
what am i to you?

If my sky should fall
Would you even call

till now, im not used to the change because it was abrupt. think about it if you were me. doubt you ever will. see you when you feel like it

2009-03-09T14:07:00.000+08:00

idk idk idk

tuesday-chalet with weizhen, mic and mic's bf and co

wednesday-not yet plan

thursday-not yet plan

friday-meet EP, off to work..then midnight movie with ventures

saturday-straight away go for JW camp after movie.

sunday-after JW camp, work early in the morning till 3 in the afternoon-.=

okay im a superhuman from friday to sunday? i need to talk to you face to face. we are not those sort of non verbal people. com'on